Fun Facts (of life)

This post is a long time in the making.  What I mean is, a lot of thought has gone into it, and therefore there have been a lot of sleepless nights!  (This happens occasionally when I have something I want to blog but can't find the time/energy...I "write" it in my sleep.  Problem is, it is never as good as in my sleep!)  So I hope it doesn't disappoint!  It isn't supposed to be depressing, so don't get all bored with it just yet...I just want to be candid.  Generally, I put my best foot forward with my blog (after all, it is public)...but life isn't always rainbows and sunshine and overwhelming cuteness!

Many of you know the struggles we had at the end of my pregnancy with Keagan, and then after he was born.  I didn't blog about them until right at the very end because, as much of an open book as I seem, I am quite personal.  I spill my guts to people I am comfortable with and those I know care and/or won't judge me regarding the topic.  But what we went through with Keagan was tough.  Very tough.  And it frightens me to ever go back there.

Another struggle with which I haven't been very forthcoming is mine and Josh's struggle with infertility (yes, we both brought something to the table to help us not get pregnant). 

in·fer·til·i·ty (nfr-tl-t)
n.
1. Absent or diminished fertility.
2. The persistent inability to conceive a child.

Some of my reasons for not being candid with this are: 1) People who aren't like us won't understand our physical and emotional struggles.  2) I don't want friends who aren't like us to feel as if they can't celebrate their pregnancies and babies with us.  3) I didn't ever want to hear things like "Maybe it just isn't your time." or "God might have other plans" or "It'll happen eventually."  (these are painful things to hear when you are trying ineffectively to conceive a child)  The good thing is, it DID happen (obviously!) and we didn't have to wait as long as we expected (a year and a half of actual trying to conceive).  But when you are in an infertility hole, you never know when you are going to get out of it, or how.  We were lucky enough to find a doctor that, with the right combination of medicines and lotsa prayer on our part, got us pregnant. 

Fastforward...
In July I quit nursing Keagan.  I also went off birth control knowing it might take longer than we wanted to have another baby.  And we aren't gettin' any younger!  (read: we don't have a ton of time if we want our family to grow!)  Well much like before I learned that I do, indeed, have issues in the female department.  I just don't ovulate.  So I went back to my doctor's office this fall, talked with the nurse practitioner and decided to start back on some of the fertility medicine.  Mainly to get a normal cycle so when we were ready to seriously "try" for baby #2, we had a decent playing field!  We assumed it would take a few cycles to get "back on track" and then come 2012 we would begin the "fun" of trying to conceive Baby O #2.

But...

Yep...it only took one cycle of fertility meds and, unbeknownst to me when I went in for some bloodwork, I was pregnant!  We are very excited, I am a little nervous (it's gotta come out!), and Keagan has no clue! :) 

So, I guess the pregnancy posts resume!  This time around, I have felt just about like I did when first pregnant with Keagan: very nauseous, very nauseous, very nauseous, and a little tired.  The difference: I have an 18-month old to take care of!  Oh! How I wish we had family nearby!  Another difference?  I am already showing!  I will get a bump-pic up when I reach 12 weeks (at 10.5 now)...funny thing is right now I look like I did when I was 4-5 months pregnant with Keagan.  I am also starting out 5 pounds heavier (breastfeeding took all my baby weight off, but no one told me to quit eating when I quit breastfeeding! haha, so I put 5 lbs back on!). 

Some hopes for this pregnancy include (besides the normal "happy and healthy 9 months"):
FULL TERM BABY! :)
No growth restriction or need for steroid shots
VBAC (for those who aren't down with the birthing lingo: vaginal birth after c-section)
Nausea to go away at the same time I say good-bye to the first trimester

Here is how we told Josh's parents:

 Yes, my sweet boy does have a cut and black eye in these pictures.  All in a hard day of playing at school!

And finally, something to really tug at your heartstrings...it makes me cry (but I am hormonal and pregnant):
No one else will ever know,
the strength of my LOVE FOR YOU.
After all you're the only one who knows what
my HEART sounds like from the inside.