Oh Finn. This post is going to bring me to tears writing it. You are such a JOY! Honestly, a year ago I loved you so much because you were my child, but today I have found your personality is infectious and I LOVE you because of who you are. You are such a fun and funny little boy. I cannot believe you are two years old. I cannot believe my baby is no longer a baby. When I had you, several friends with multiple children warned me that 1+1 does not equal 2. Having a second baby is an exponential amount of work. And I think having a toddler and a baby earns me a special place in heaven because it is basically an infinite amount of work (going to a mathematical perspective). Maybe not, but in the depths of difficulty with parenting I tell myself this to help!
Oh me. Where do I begin. You have always been a passionate soul, literally from the get-go. I think you had this personality when you were born, it was just so chaotic and crazy we didn't really "meet" you until we went home. You had me as a struggling new mommy with your passion (read: screaming). As you turned a year old and entered your second year of life, your passion began to refine, but it was still very strong and chaotic. You were definitely a difficult baby and early toddler. But just as strong as your screams and vocalization of unhappiness was your love. And you turned a corner at some point and became a bit more reasonable of a child. Yes, you still scream and become insanely loud when you want something (and you want what you want NOW), but you are probably the most loving child I have ever met. You are an amazing snuggler. You love to give hugs and you love to give kisses. The passion (that goes multiple directions) is beginning to form into something constructive and I look forward to watching what you will do with it. When you were an infant I started to read a book about "The Strong Willed Child" (which I now need to revisit for Keagan....another story) and was concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle you. But you have seriously become an amazing little boy. Like I said, your personality is infectious and I actually crave being around you.
You are hilarious. Your facial expressions tickle me. Maybe it's because I am your momma. Maybe it's because you really are funny. But you have the best (and truly appropriate) facial expressions for whatever may be going on. You have figured out how to make people laugh and you do what you do well. When you are sad, you are VERY sad. When you are excited you are VERY excited. And when you are happy, you are VERY happy!!! I think you might be like your mommy, and you wear your heart on your sleeve. You are stubborn. Your are silly. You are smart and have already blown me away with what you know and what you comprehend. I do think having a big brother is helpful to this. And while sometimes it is exhausting, I know you will do big things one day.
You are a big boy! You are 31 lbs (90th percentile) and 35.25" tall (75th percentile). And you are pretty comfy in 3T sized clothing (which your big brother can actually still wear). You love to run and jump and gallop and skip. Your motor skills amaze this physical therapist. On the flip side of this, your run is hilarious. You actually flap your arms when you run! Someday I hope you will put the energy of flapping your arms into pumping them to get faster. But for now, everyone -and I do mean everyone- gets a kick out of how you run! And usually it is with the sweetest smile on your face because you are happy with life.
You are an eater. You actually wake up and immediately ask to "Eat Eat
Cookies." We never eat cookies in the morning, but you ask daily anyhow.
Just as much as you love cookies, you hate cake. And you turn your head
and clench your mouth if anything new comes near it. You are not
adventurous at all. But your daddy and I won't let you live your
childhood without at least ingesting a little birthday cake and powdered
donuts. :) Luckily you do love your fruit, veggies, and meat. You may not like what a typical two-year old likes, but you do well with the "grown-up" foods. You are also very imaginative. You love to play, and you
play well alone and with your brother (when you aren't fighting). You
crack us up with your love of airplanes. And you have recently started
putting your arms behind you and running around as if you are flying. One of your favorite movies is Disney's Planes. You love your airplanes and you hate sharing them!
When I became pregnant with you I couldn't imagine loving anything
anymore than I already did with Keagan. God is amazing in how He can
open a momma's heart and make room for another baby to love. I cannot
imagine our family without you. And I cannot imagine that any better
place for you than to have you as my second baby. You have humbled me as
a parent. You have taught me so much about how to love and endure. You are beautiful. You are spunky. You are incredible. And you have made me a better mommy having you in my life. I often become overwhelmed in my role as mommy to you and Keagan, and I wonder what the point is to having children. I sometimes wonder if this really is my role in life, and let the "what ifs" become bigger than I can contemplate and sometimes these feelings overtake me. And then I go so far as to think, "Why is having children such a draw for women if it is so difficult and so life changing?" I don't, nor will I ever, have the answers to these ridiculous feelings or questions. And, while at this point in my life with two very small children I get insanely overwhelmed and lose my patience with you and your brother, all that has to happen is to see you and Keagan smile, hug, or hear you laugh, and I know that I don't have to have the answers because God chose me to be your mother. He chose me to direct and challenge me to raise you as God-respecting individuals to further his kingdom, while in the meantime I get to experience the complicated and strong love that no one else can ever experience unless they are blessed enough to have babies grace their presence. Thank you Lord for this child, and for entrusting him to ME.
I love you Finny.
Love,
Mommy
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